Day 8 - Disaster strikes with a blip.

Day 8

Don't expect this one to have a feel-good theme; I'm majorly p*ssed!

I intended to go out and smash a four-mile run today, I didn't even get to two. I could use the rain as an excuse, the wind literally pushing me backwards, a heavy coat, sore limbs, but I won't. The reason I didn't complete four miles today is because my mind gave up. Am I unable to move now? No. Am I in so much pain I wish I hadn't gone? No. Was I just mentally weak? Yes.

So, I punished myself. First it was turning the radio off on the drive home and sitting in silence. Then, immediately on arrival home, some painful yoga. Topped off with plans for another run before bootcamp tomorrow night, just 2 miles, but at a good pace. Hopefully that will start to work in a Pavlov manner; when I don't finish a run, much more pain is coming than if I completed it.

Every cloud has a silver lining -I ran my fastest mile to date- but there is no smile attached to that. I'm not going to lie on this blog, I could have just said it was 'okay' but if you know me, you know you are going to receive the truth and I am hard on myself because what is the point in sugarcoating sh*t.

Luckily that means that I am even more mad. Luckily the madness has transformed to determination. Luckily this is week 2 and not week 11 with not enough time to rectify my "blip". But luck won't get me round a half-marathon track. Hard work will. The oxford dictionary definition is as follows;

Blip: an unexpected, minor, and typically temporary deviation from a general trend... that WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.

Okay, so the capitalised lexis at the end was maybe added by me. I'm going to go and get a scorching hot bath and think about what I haven't done.

Kx

Day 7 - I am not currently burning my bra, but...

Day 7

So it's been a week, I have accidentally shed almost a stone! This challenge isn't a weight specific one, but -of course- I will lose some because I have it to lose!! Plus it's easier running with when you're as light as a feather, I'm currently as light as a small building so it is slightly more fiendish. Four miles down, I was feeling brilliant until my friend said she read this blog and really liked it, then she added this...

"It will be great, Kate, because you have such a pretty face, by the time you do the race in a few months you will be fighting the guys off!"

What?! I mean; what!! For someone to make an effort to better themselves or set themselves a goal, must it be to gain anything other than confidence? I can safely say I am not desperately looking for someone, this whole thing is not a ploy to increase my eligibility.

I responded with shock and then sympathy. When someone makes that judgement, their mind must work in that unhealthy way. If you live with that restless goal in life; to be with someone, it significantly reduces your chances! Desperation is not attractive, nor is lack of independence. It worries me that my friends are looking for their 'other half'. I mean, if you're not whole without someone else, you need to see someone about it. A partner shouldn't complete you, they should enhance you.

I am by no means saying that I hate men, I am not currently burning my bra. I love men, I like the idea of a happy ever after, but I'm not settling because society says I should be married before 25 and have a child out before the big 3-0- otherwise I will spontaneously combust. Settling ends in divorce settlements.

I am running because I want to do something that I am not sure I can. Pushing myself. Being better and stronger. NOT because I cry my lonely self to sleep at night; in fact, I enjoy not sharing the bed!

K x

Day 5 - Ouch.

Day 5

F*%$&ng ow. Today hurt like I wasn't sure my limbs could! I think I may have jumped in head first without checking how deep or cold the water was... maybe I should have climbed down the ladder, or dipped my toe in, or left the poolside got in my car and driven to the safety of my home.

I shaved a minute off each mile, which definitely shows my effort was not 100% earlier in the week, but I was absolutely dead at the end, I couldn't have gone any further and I don't know if that's right or not. Should I be absolutely empty at the end? Or should I have some fuel in the tank? Because my goal is the distance, not the speed. I don't know! I'm not a fitness guru! What I can tell you about is lipstick and cheeses, which is what got me to my current level of fitness: rubbish.

One more run of the week tomorrow then a rest day on Sunday, I will also be consuming ridiculous amounts of alcohol tomorrow evening as my last "blow-out" until the day of the run. Now if you know me, you'll know that is dedication. 

Same distance tomorrow, should be hard because my body is caving but...

"Don't stop when you are tired. Stop when you are done."

K x

Day 4

Day 4

A few days in, I have concluded that I can argue with myself and I am a perve.

I was a little sore from Monday but this is because my fitness is pants and I didn't anticipate a groin twinge. I decided that I should walk the last 0.5 miles of my Tuesday run. The other part of me said "No; don't walk, this isn't a walking marathon, push yourself, we don't have time for walking.." and it basically went backwards and forwards until my attention was taken by what can only be described as a god.

I am absolutely an antitheist - I don't believe in believing in religion - so for me to call this running guy a god is a significant compliment. He ran past me, of course, and about 15 metres in front of me, he helped a pair of youngsters who had their dog lead in a twister-style manner around a lamppost. It wouldn't surprise me if he helped an old lady with her shopping and a kitten out of a tree that morning. Either way, as I approached the dog-tangle, in true Hollywood style, I tripped. I didn't fall, but I scuffled along the floor, which is enough to ruin my chance (as if I had one anyway) and reveal my true clumsy idiot. He looked up with genuine concern and it was then I started to hate him, nobody is actually that nice, I reckon he did something really horrific and now he is repenting. This could -however- be the most romantic love story since Jack and Rose. As I planned our wedding in my head I realised I had continued to run the whole way back to the car! Go me! Being a perve totally has it's upside!! I made a mental note to myself for our next encounter; check for a ring, any oncoming objects and dribble. I'm so in there.

Bought a new pair of trainers and intend to test them out this weekend! I am sore but in a good way, eating well, stretching every day, feeling fab, still running from 'Am-I-going-to-make-it adrenaline'.

3rd run of the week comes tomorrow and I am adding a mile... will report back.

K x

Half Marathon. Day One.

Day 1

I dipped my toe into the online running world last night to see what plans other people had gone with (Non-runners ->Half Marathon) and the average was about two years long ...panic. I then waded into 'marathon prep' by accident ...more panic. Finally I was neck deep in the sea of available trainers depending on level of arch and whether I am heel-heavy or...PANIC.

Following this I found it hard to relax, but brushing my teeth later on, I decided that my toothbrush had got a bit soft and I got a new one out of my cupboard. I looked at the array of brushes I have 'just in case' and I realised something; I am anal. Stay with me here!! Running demands certain personal characteristics: self-motivation to just keep going, being clinical in preparation, meticulous in food choices and prepared for most things. What do all these things have in common? Being anal! I'm halfway there! I love anal!...wait. No. 

Anyway.

With my new found love for my bordering OCD, I donned my trainers early this morning and I drove myself to, what is going to become, a very significant location in this journey and I did the unthinkable, I started running. 

Perfect running conditions greeted me, amiable temperatures, overcast, slight breezes, dry underfoot. It's like someone had felt my reluctance to figure out how bad I was and put in a good word with mother nature. I ran 2.2 measly miles (3.5k), which was the plan, I survived, which was also the plan, and I ran the whole way (slow), which was better than the plan. I'm so much more positive now!

I made some rookie errors; didn't leave enough time for my porridge to settle, judged myself on others' pace and didn't stretch long enough beforehand. I got angry at myself. But isn't that the point? Isn't this why we challenge ourselves? To learn lessons that move us on from Rookie-Ville to Expert City? Right now I am going to reign in my perfectionist in and embrace these lessons. Hey, I ran past two ice cream vans today!!

K x

P.s. Don't go online, kids, it's scary.

That time I signed up for a half marathon. Day Zero.

Day 0 

"I have signed up for a half-marathon."

Responses:

"You f***ing idiot""Are you sure?""Maybe start with a 5k first, Kate?""You should consult your doctor.""Hahahahahahahaahahahaah..." < this one lasted a while.

The worst thing? I absolutely agree with all of them. What isn't the worst thing, but is close, is the fact I had a huge bowl of cheese pasta whilst I listened to the doubters.

I have nowhere near enough time to train for this, the running I am currently doing is away from commitment and towards ice cream vans. I am 22, a student, probably at my un-fittest and heaviest. I know how to be lighter and fitter, but instead I choose to eat badly, party a lot and not exercise anywhere enough. Now I am on a massive time crunch and I feel sick; it could be nerves, it could be the pasta. Who knows.

I have prepped myself with the NHS plan of couch to 5k in 8 weeks, I need to do that in 3 or 4. I have a great running genius who is going to tell me when I am close to death- he doesn't think this is a good idea yet. I have a nutrition plan from a close friend who knows his stuff and someone else who is going to help me get "strong".

This simple blog is going to follow the pain, potentially blood, leafy vegetables and trainer socks that I go through. What this blog isn't, is a desperate attempt for views/likes/comments, this is a personal track of what I hope it will be success, I hope I will meet people on the way who have done similar things, and I sincerely hope I survive.

Tomorrow is Day 1, when it all begins, please feel free to enjoy my journey from the comfort of sanity, advise me, send me a good luck, you can doubt me too; I don't blame you. But, I will prove you wrong!

K x