Day 8 - Disaster strikes with a blip.

Day 8

Don't expect this one to have a feel-good theme; I'm majorly p*ssed!

I intended to go out and smash a four-mile run today, I didn't even get to two. I could use the rain as an excuse, the wind literally pushing me backwards, a heavy coat, sore limbs, but I won't. The reason I didn't complete four miles today is because my mind gave up. Am I unable to move now? No. Am I in so much pain I wish I hadn't gone? No. Was I just mentally weak? Yes.

So, I punished myself. First it was turning the radio off on the drive home and sitting in silence. Then, immediately on arrival home, some painful yoga. Topped off with plans for another run before bootcamp tomorrow night, just 2 miles, but at a good pace. Hopefully that will start to work in a Pavlov manner; when I don't finish a run, much more pain is coming than if I completed it.

Every cloud has a silver lining -I ran my fastest mile to date- but there is no smile attached to that. I'm not going to lie on this blog, I could have just said it was 'okay' but if you know me, you know you are going to receive the truth and I am hard on myself because what is the point in sugarcoating sh*t.

Luckily that means that I am even more mad. Luckily the madness has transformed to determination. Luckily this is week 2 and not week 11 with not enough time to rectify my "blip". But luck won't get me round a half-marathon track. Hard work will. The oxford dictionary definition is as follows;

Blip: an unexpected, minor, and typically temporary deviation from a general trend... that WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.

Okay, so the capitalised lexis at the end was maybe added by me. I'm going to go and get a scorching hot bath and think about what I haven't done.

Kx